Etowah County woman beats "gay ass clown" with baseball bat wrapped in barbed wire
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Jennifer Michelle Rigsby of Rainbow City Alabama was taken to Etowah County Detention Center early this morning for questioning after she contacted authorities and admitted to beating what she called a "confused white cracker dressed as a gay ass clown". She said she was on her front porch smoking at about 6 am when she heard a noise in her backyard that sounded like ass crack rubbing bark off of a tree. She walked around the backyard and found a male who was dressed up in a really tight clown suit with a mask that was twerking in an extremely gay fashion and rubbing his butt and "nut sack" (as she called it) all over her and her husband's favorite oak tree which she said was "not fuckin cool man". The woman blames social media for talking about The Walking Dead too much and giving her the idea of wrapping a metal baseball bat in barbed wire and beating the potential "gay flomo clown" nearly to death before contacting local authorities. The woman will be held at the Etowah County Detention Center until we can clear up further questions like ,"Why did he choose to rub his nut sack all over her oak tree when he could've rubbed them on anyone's and why was he wearing such a tight ass costume that was obviously cutting off the circulation to his so called "nut sack"? The world may never know the truth.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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