F$ked up the churches money

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Oshea Israel, was arrested this past Sunday, in lieu of a $10,000 bail for f$king up the churches money. As the donation plate was being passed around, oshea, took it upon himself to pass around his own offering plate, that of a green Crown Royal bag, the complaint said.
One witness stated, Mr. Israel, announced "his pockets was on the injured list and it would be appreciated if the congregation would contribute and pray for him, before he begin preying." "We then begin to, "low it, like we owe it."
What makes this a crime is Mr. Israel was dressed in tailored Pimp vines resembling the pastor, who's been breaking the congregation off for the last two years. "We thought he was a guest preacher until we found our pastor, duct taped to two pictures, a white jesus and a black jesus, inside the churches kitchen closet, with Kanye West-Jesus walks, playing through headphones in the pastors ears."
Charges are expected by Tuesday.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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