Reports of woman smashing bong then slashing tires

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Witnesses say an aboriginal woman about 5'5 in height with brown hair and brown eyes was wandering the streets in the central part of the city. They said she was mangeling bicycle tires with shards of what appeared to be a broken bong. Winnipeg police are warning cyclist's to be cautious when aproaching. Bring sugar cubes because she responds to sweets and the name clipclop. Witnesses also report that one of the mangled bicycles were left on the side of the road where a passer-byer by the name of Tyler Ross scooped it up and rode it over the salter bridge. He didn't notice the tires were slashed and mangled so at the bottom of the bridge he lost control and landed head first on a pile of poo. Luckily his nappy hair saved his life and half his brain... MRI revieled his brain was already like that. So no harm was done.

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