Police issue warrant for arrest of two well known rug munchers

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Police have issued a warrant of arrest to find two well known rug munchers.
Christina Guimond and Lindsay Courchene were last seen on the South shore of Sagkeeng First Nation, the two are high risk carpet munchers and are not to be approached. They are wanted for a very vicious lesbian act & failing to comply with a no touching order that was placed on the two
By the victim.
21 year old victim of this vicious lesbian act Cheyene Guimond says in a recent interview "they came out of nowhere with cumcumbers & wieners.. I didn't know what too do I was terrified". As the two continued to slap the poor victim in the face with the cumcumbers & weiners. The two then fled the scene and haven't been seen since.
If you see these two high risk rug munchers you are not to approached are are asked to call crime stoppers.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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