Man Arrested after Milly Rock Incident
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Manhattan — Wednesday Night in the "Pianos" Lounge/Bar, a man was arrested and charge with multiple assaults after a calm Sturdy milly rock!
Witnesses say The song "Milly Rock" by 2Milly came on and the suspect lost it. As a circle formed around him he began to bust a calm milly rock which transitioned into something more dangerous.
The suspect began slapping and punching the surrounding witnesses and victims causing broken noses and black eyes for everyone within 3 feet of the dance circle.
We spoke with the doctors who treated the victims and they commented "I've never in my line of profession seen dance move injuries such as this one. I am Baffled to how someone can milly rock and do so much damage to innocent victims"
We spoke with an bystander who was almost a victim and asked how did he manage to escape. The bystander commented "yeah after he slapped my fedora off my head I got the fuck outta there, it just wasn't safe, it was like he was possessed"
After speaking with the suspect who we then learned his name was Randolph Kelvin. As we asked Mr. Kelvin what happened why so many people got hurt, and what can be done to avoid this in the future.
Kelvin responded "when milly rock comes on get out my way"
Painos owner didn't release a statement of apology but he did express that Kelvin isn't banned from the Bar! Being that he is a "Pianos God"
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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