Obama: "I'm giving away the US to China"

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 74459 Shares

After many months of turmoil in this upcoming US election, president Barack Obama made the rash decision to "give" the United States of America to the Chinese by giving the Chinese government full control starting January, when the current president of China is going to be Inaugurated.

"I just think it's in the American people's best interest," he said last night in a Skype interview that has just gone viral. "We already had our ties severed with the most powerful race, the Filipinos." Referring to Rodrigo Duterte swearing allegiance with Xi Jinping. "I mean, have you seen who the American people have voted for? I know I endorsed Hilary Clinton, but she's a huge bitch once you get to know her. And Trump...I don't even have to say anything."

So what does this mean for people in the US right now? Well, our official national language will change to Mandarin Chinese (meaning all government documents, street signs and education will be in Chinese) and our constitution will be rewritten, just to name a few things. No doubt the internet will be censored and we will be limited to one child per household. Say goodbye to having uncles and ants. Taiwan will no longer be recognized as a country at all. And Israel? As good as Holocausted. The Chinese government has provided a book on this new integration, which will teach you all there is to know about China, and will mail one to every house in America. As for now, long live the workers party!

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.