With One Week Before His Wedding Man goes Binge Drinking and Steals Child's Power Wheels Cadillac

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

2059 66938 Shares

Yes, this happened. A man is being held at the Robert Presley Detention Center in Riverside on counts of drinking and driving and grand theft auto. Several calls were placed regarding an adolescent male driving a child's Cadillac in a residential area near Moreno Valley College. The man was weaving in and out of sidewalks drinking IPA's and yelling that this was his last week until marriage.

Officer Marge Stephens took the call. "After leaving the donut shop all I could think about was my glazed donut holes and profiling some minorities. I was shocked to see a grown man drinking craft beer and driving a kids Power Wheels. He behaved as if it was his own vehicle. After I pulled him over he was searching for the keys to the Cadillac," she stated.

"I am so appalled that this man-boy would take an innocent child's vehicle and desecrate it with booze," said the neighborhood watch Lady.

If you have any information about this person please call the Robert Presley Detention Center in Riverside.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

loading Biewty

Most Popular

  1. 1

    bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.

  2. 2

    new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."

  3. 3

    whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.

  4. 4

    two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.