Susquehanna University Student Charged for "Trying Too Hard"
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Susquehanna University officials have recently reported that third-year student, Christopher Stutzman, 21, has been charged with misdemeanor offenses of studying too hard and overworking brain power in Selinsgrove Borough courthouse. Susquehanna University has released a brief statement on the issue at hand: "We like to make our students work hard. However we do not condone the actions Chris has made and we are in full cooperation with authorities".
Reports claim that amid midterm weekend Stutzman was observed in multiple locations throughout Susquehanna University studying as hard as possible. Friends became worried as he did not respond to texts and Facebook messages. A close friend of Stutzman's, David Mead, was able to give us a more in depth look at just how repulsive Stutzman's actions were. "Chris used to be a lot of fun to be around. Ever since he got a 4.0 though, he just hasn't been the same. We try to get him to have some fun tossing the pig skin or having a pillow fight but he now refuses claiming he needs to study for his test the following month. I really just miss my friend and hope he doesn't continue to do this to the Susquehanna community".
We will update this story as more information becomes available. If you have any addition information please reach us at [email protected]
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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