Cleveland man charged with battery and assault for obsessive meat beating

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Sema'j Strugglez aka Westside Juan was arrested early this morning after an unknown Penis walked into the 2nd district police station and informed police that he had been brutally beaten. In a police statement the penis stated that it has been going on for the last 4 years. The report also states that the Penis and Juan had an agreement that after Juan's 3 year prison term had ended in June 2015 that the assaults would end. According to the penis the attacks did end as scheduled but during a lonely period in September 2016 the nightmare continued. Police say on September 4th Juan grabbed the penis and yelled out "fuck it i ain't got no hoes so it's just me and you now" . The attacks continued through October 27th when the penis decided it had had enough. The penis managed to escape his grip and immediately filed a report. Juan's arraignment is scheduled for October 31st and he is now out on bond. Fox 8 news tried to get a hold of the penis for questions but quickly learned Juan already had a hold of it. Stay tuned for more details.

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