Local Man Arrested For Being Kind Of A Douchebag
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Tragedy has struck the State's capital.
Early Saturday morning Christopher Bennett, 24, was brought in by local authorities for being kind of a big douchebag. He was last seen at the GAP Warehouse in Groveport, Ohio sporting a 1970's-pornographic handlebar mustache. More details to follow.
Bennett is best known for proclaiming himself as the best "rock-band player in his friend group, wanting to try outrageous Facebook meals, and not liking DC Comic Book Films.
"Well, of course I was shocked," said Cole Freshkorn, 22, friend of Bennett's, and witness to the crime. "But he is kind of a dick, so I guess he deserved this."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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