Breaking News: Jimbo Fisher skips practice for Baton Rouge
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Baton Rouge, LA - Souces say it was a game Saturday night. A typical game, same routine and business as usual in Talla-ass-u-see. Following the game, coachs and players noticed weird behavior from their head coach Jimbo Fisher. One reporter was able to get to him and he completely ignored her question and I quote saying "Fuck these sorry motherfuckers. The whole team need pacemakers because they some puppies and last but not least where the hoes at?" In the locker room it was dead silent. Seminoles RB Dalvin Cook was seen crying and started shaking when he stood up to dress the team. He said " I ..." but Coach Fisher shut that shit down and told him not only he a loser but he the 2nd best back in the Nation sit down and shut up. The team sat there til 4 am in complete silence letting this lost marinate. Coach Fisher smoked 3 blunts and polished a 5th of henn then told them to get on the bus. Confused and in disarray they all did. We asked him where he was sending them.. He stated two places. They going to see the Bishop and going to Plastic forks and paper plates bowl he was heading home. Today, we see what home is. It's LSU. He says it's his dream job and it's no puppies outchea. He says he has the 1 back in the Nation and he might as well coach here because his record a be justifiable in the SEC. His press conference lasted a short brief 2 minutes. He did wish FSU well, well to get well hopefully soon cause ass to mouth conditioning has gotten worse by the year. I'm Jimbo Fisher and I approve this message and walked off stage. Well there u have it. I'm Rickeisha and I'm signing out.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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