Three grams of cocaine found shoved inside girls asshole

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Irish girl, Shannon Whelan (19), was found guilty of drug smuggling in the early hours of this morning.
Whelan had managed to shove 3 grams of cocaine into her colon before being restrained by police.

Jessica Fay (17), who witnessed the scene discribed the events as 'disturbing' and 'downright mental'. "She had this mad look in her eyes, you know sort of how the way a dog looks t another dog when it wants a ride" she said "she striped naked an ran through the fields and into Tesco, still shoving coke up her arse like". Witnesses said Whelan managed to run through the isles for 15 minutes screaming profanities about their grandmothers, 'I'll put your nanny in a box!' She allegedly threatened, before she was restrained down in the frozen meat section.
During her confrontation with the Garda, Whelan claimed she did it for 'a bit of Craic like' and she likes to 'feel the wind between [her] flaps when [she] runs'.

Garda raided her house in the donamede area and found another 11 grams of cocaine shoved inside their family dog, a pug named Nugget.
While questioning Nugget, he loudly exclaimed 'whadayatalkinabeet' and back handed a Garda in the face and made an escape while leaving a trail of cocaine begin him.

Whelan has been arrested and taken into custody while Nugget is still at large.
"Sure we'll find the little fucker like" Garda O'sullivan said "sure he left a trail of coke out of his arse like that's 11 grams Shoved in his hole, I could pure sniff that I'm not lettin him get away" Continued O'Sullivan as he followed the trail of cocaine down the street, occasionally sniffing a line and collecting the drug into bags. " yeah like I just need this for evidence" O'Sullivan confirmed.

If anyone has any information about the two individuals please contact:
Phone No: 1800696969
Email: [email protected]

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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