Woman, 19, caught in co-op freezer with Poundland vibrator
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Today in the cooperative, Beeston. A girl, 19, now named as Tanisha Fagg has been caught attempting to pleasure herself with a Poundland vibrator.
The act was committed at 10.05am, just 5 minutes after the store had opened for the day. Goliath Mohammed, the store manager released a statement to the press stating "I genuinely could not believe what i was seeing. Not only did she have a POUNDLAND vibrator but she was doing it next to a tub of Chunky Monkey that I was trying to get for my dinner break, she made it very hard for me."
Kirbie Weston, an eye witness on the scene referred to the unexplainable act as "it was like seeing a sausage roll get thrown down a coridoor if you know what I mean"
Detective Iver Bigun stated "she's currently under police protection as a lot of angry customers were trying to get to her as she had squashed and ruined a lot of chunky monkey ice cream, it's a disgusting vile act and she thought of nobody but Berty (her vagina) I wouldn't even mind usually but the girl didn't even think to shave. How rude."
Tanisha will appear in Leeds Crown Court on Tuesday 1st November and will plead guilty to being so horny, horny, horny, horny.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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