Rogue barber fucks up life of local youth
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Emergency services are on standby today as details emerged of the rogue barber (identity unknown) who has proceeded to fuck up the life of unsuspecting youths across the south east. Victim Greg turner geraghty (pictured) spoke exclusively to us at the weekly rapist about his ordeal.
Reporter: Greg, thank you for giving us your time. Tell us, what has life been like since this whole ordeal began?
Greg: Ah it's been awful like. I walked out the barbers thinking I looked fresh as fuck. I hadn't a clue till I walked in me front door what had been done to me.
Reporter: And how did you find out?
Greg: Me father spotted me as I came through the hallway. He laughed, spat in my face and called me a ginger cunt. This was normal. However, when I went down me sisters room and she wouldn't let me sniff her used maxi pads, I knew somethin was up.
Reporter: That must've been awful.
Greg: It was. I had given her me last bag of skips in exchange aswell. Raging I was.
Reporter: I can imagine. Greg, I hope you don't mind, but.. May I see the trim?
Greg: I know I agreed beforehand, but I'm nervous. I'm afraid ye might laugh.
Reporter: Its ok, don't be afraid. Theres no cameras. It's just you and me.
Greg: Ri ok... Please don't make fun of me..
*greg proceeds to remove bandana*
Reporter: AWWWW SHIT NIGGA NAHHHH!!
*camera flash, picture taken used to headline article*
Greg: but you promised you wouldn't lau-
*reporter gets up and proceeds to the door*
Reporter: *pray hands* RIP
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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