Local man ruins life, possibly others
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Gardaí this morning have reported being inundated with complaints after Johnny Clarke, with an address in Rush Co.Dublin, decided to go on a whopping SIX day bender. Some complaints reported to Gardaí included: "He asked me for a lend of a euro to get a Mars bar over in the shop, but he never returned. I believe he may have bought discount cans at aldi." Others included: "He was on my roof, singing some theme music from the movie, Predator. My children thought it was Santa Clause, but I had to explain to them that Santa is not real, and that some hair Bas**rd was just locked on the roof." Detective superindendent James Guildea said: "It's some bender he's on alright. If we can't sober him up, god knows what this could cost the taxpayer in damages."
Gardaí are urging witnesses or anyone with information in relation to Mr.Clarkes whereabouts to come forward.
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