Drive by felching shocks locals

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The quiet Stockport area in England, was rocked to its foundations yesterday by the hideous sight of a ‘drive-by Felching'

Many of the town’s elderly residents were being treated for shock at a nearby hospital last night, as Police try to piece together exactly what happened in the town yesterday afternoon.

A main witness at the scene of the incident was Lady Chlamydia Tenalady, an 86 year old resident of the town “I was casually strolling down Connaught avenue yesterday afternoon when a couple in a car suddenly stopped in front of me. A women named locally as Emma Smethan shot out of the car and jumped on top of an elderly lady, sadly the rest is just a blur as I was still in shock from witnessing a bare-chested man moments earlier. I found the whole ordeal perfectly ghastly”

The elderly woman who suffered the sickening attack, who has been named as Lana Nibbats (89) was treated at the scene for a severely engorged anus and taken to a nearby hospital, where she is being treated for shock and severe blood loss.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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