Calhoun Walmart suspects still at large!

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In the early morning of Halloween, approximately 4:00 a.m. E.S.T. Wal-Mart empolyees recalled seeing two men browsing in the back of the store, near the computer and gaming section and later for stopped to grab Cheetos.
Employees say they were very cautious of the two because they kept looking at eachother deeply and giggling.

Witness Ricardo Gomez de la Franco Munoz le Carne Asada, an employee of Walmart for 15 years, recounts the two walking away from the gaming section. He says the two then proceeded towards the make-up aisle. Mr. Carne asada said he had no intentions to follow once seeing this "tragedy" as he called it.

Mr. Asada and his manager, Mr. Puto, recalled hearing loud girly giggles coming from the pharmacy aisle. They both went to investigate. Two aisles away Mr. Puto recalled hearing, "you blow it up and ill put it on! Hehehe!" "Its too big it wont fit." And "dude, its too big for you too dumb fuck remember?"

What Mr. Asada and Puto saw next, they will never be able to unsee. As they wrapped around the corner, no one would be able to understand the dire situation.
Mr. Asada recalls one fugitive (Stetson Hayes) with a blow up doll and blowing it up, while the other tried fitting condoms onto it to make them fit. The blow up doll had drag queen make up on, a Halo bra, and officials are unsure of Mr. Putos claim of cheetos sticking out of its butt, as well as the smallest condom sized they offered. Trojan XS (xxxtra smalls).

The fugitive suspects fled as soon as both employees screeched at the horrible sight. The suspects were last seen fleeing Wal-Mart in a gray SUV.
The manager says they mustve had a great time as they went through all the douches and flavored lubes. Mr. Puto says there were 4 bullet vibrators lined up on a hot wheels tracks ready to race. And that they still cannot find the other 2 bullets missing from their boxes.

Mr. Puto and Mr. Carne Asada have both fled back to mexico to join local gangs. They both claim to be hardened veterans now, and tell us there is no longer anything on this world that can scare them.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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