Community in trouble!

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Sciotodale, OH. A small community in southern Ohio along the Ohio River has been plagued with crime. This all ended one morning when a man named Tom Sammons decided he had enough and took matters into his own hands. "I'm just tired of all the crime around here. I'm better than the cops so I won't even call them." Tom said. "I'll kill the next man that makes me waste a doughnut."

Even while devouring delicious pastries, he keeps watch over his small community. One neighbor, who wishes to remain anonymous, was quoted saying "I just feel so safe with him around."

It has recently been revealed that Mr. Sammons has taken a small leave of absence. The community is shocked. "Once the criminals find out, I'm sure the community will perish!" One neighbor was quoted. Driving through the small town you see windows boarded up. Dust accumulating on vehicles. Nobody is outside. Looks almost like a ghost town. They live in fear knowing he isn't there. They are pleading for help. They need him back.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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