Teen arrested after hitting elderly neighbor with a Timberland!
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JACKSONVILLE, FL - An Florida Teen was arrested earlier on tonight around 11:45pm by JSO for allegedly hitting his elderly neighbor with a Timberland boot causing her to fall unconscious immediately.
In the police report, the alleged attacker (Kevin Arguinzoni) stated that he was vigorously angered by the fact that his 79 year old neighbor did not want to have sexual intercourse with him. Kevin quoted "She's a beautiful old lady. Her looks arouse my genitals and make me want to devour her intimate womb of love. She refused to let me taste her deligent old clitoris so I rushed into my house and grab the timmys."
According to police, the intial 911 call was made from (Julio), a nearby pedestrian who apparently was walking his pet chicken at the time . "I was taking little chicken nugget for a spin around the block when I come to see some loco hitting some Abuelita with a Tim. It was crazy homes". He plans to sue the alleged attacker for causing "mental distress" towards his chicken.
Kevin is currently awaiting his sentence but is looking at 3 to 5 years minimum according to Sheriff Dun'Obar.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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