Town "Nut" to receive Great Award

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Long Island’s own Jonathon Britton, or as locals refer to him as "Gnome", is being honored today with his receiving of the nation’s highest award from President Trump, the not so luxurious "Most Gullible Nub Award". Our very own top notch reporter from Channel G13 News “Mr. Bird” was lucky enough to get the scoop from fellow onlookers at the ceremony. A Mr “Dee” Slammm stated that - "No man is more deserving of such an honor, even with his diminishing Halo 2 skills and fading of overall gaming knowledge and expertise” MR SLAMMM stated with glee. “Truly a magnificent accomplishment for such a gullible nub".
While fellow attendants were heard cheering "ooo, everybody act natural” and “Also Glutens!!!", longtime friend and avid anti Britton activist R. Ninja had this to say: "As long as I've known Jonathon he's been making such strides and advances in the field of nub-domestics. Even when I thought he couldn't reach new heights of gullibility and flat out silliness, he has surprised us all by bursting through the hypothetical roof of absurdity whilst allowing no amount of common sense or facts to stop him".
All in all, truly a great day for the easily angered and the willfully ignorant alike. When asked his thoughts on having received the award, Mr. Britton had these odd words to say: "Whatever man. You’re all sheep, it's a conspiracy, my fact sources are facts, and if they aren’t, whatever. Now Pokémon Go away.
Job Britton was last seen fleeing towards the woods in Lynbrook, NY shortly after, award clenched tightly in hand while frothing at the mouth.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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