Teesside Man Sentenced for Wearing Disgusting Trainers
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 36774 Shares
A Teesside man has been handed a 10 year Prison sentence after being spotted at the local Orange Pip Market for wearing a pair of Navy blue Reebok Classics. Dom Payne of York Road in Middlesbrough pleaded not guilty On the grounds of mental illness at Teesside Crown Court. Mr Payne's Lawyer Charles Atha said "Dominic is clearly not in a fit mental state to judge whether he has a legal pair of trainers on his feet. He Genuinely believes that the trainers were acceptable to wear in public." Jude Rinder diminished this by stating "any human being, mentally ill or not, should still have the mental capacity to see these beasts were unacceptable and a severe threat to the public."
One family described the trainers as "2 big killer Sharkes sailing through the Atlantic Ocean feeding on their prey." As the sailed down Bedford street. Fearing for their lives, they ran back into o'connels pub where the rest of there relatives were situated for safety.
Mr Payne has previously offended and has served a four year prison sentence for wearing a pair of Mitre trainers back in 2012.
Back in 2010, he was found not guilty of wearing a Pair of Pony trainers. Despite being caught red handed and there being photographic evidence, the Jury felt it was still not enough to convict Mr Payne of the offence. "I can understand the Jury's decision. It is beyond reasonable doubt that a pair of trainers this bad can exist amongst us" expressed Judge Rinder at the time.
Luckily, at the time of Dominic's latest incident, there was only one casualty. It is feared one man has been blinded by the shear site of the Trainers.
As Mr Payne left Teesside Crown today, cries of "shmeeeebokkk" and "you mitre want to take them back pal" could be heard as crowds gathered in anger.
Mr Payne will serve his full term without Parole.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.