Brexit Voter Loses Virginity

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Pictured above - Self proclaimed "Bionic Shaft Man" Mr Hamilton.

A MAN fitted with a bionic penis after his was ripped off in a childhood
accident is poised to lose his virginity at the age of 29.

Mr Hamilton will break his duck in the next few days with sex worker
Charlotte Rose after a dinner date.

Known as "Ken doll" by his friends, Mr Hamilton who lost his penis when he was six in a freak accident involving a Potato, said: “I have waited
long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year. My penis is
working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t
wait for it to finally happen.”

Mr Hamilton, a Brexit Voter, first had surgery to fit the 3 inch bionic penis in 2015 but it has only been
fully functional for a few months.

It has two tubes running along its length which inflate when he presses a
button on his testicle.

Charlotte, 35, will not be charging Mr Hamilton when they meet up in the Calais Jungle.

She said: “I am so honoured that he chose me to take his virginity.

“We plan to have a dinner date so we can get to know each other and then two
hours of private time. I’m not charging him.”

Charlotte, also a Brexit voter, added: “I’m happy to help him build up confidence."

“Hopefully he can then find a lovely lady to settle down with.”

Unlucky in love Mr Hamilton, from Bovington, added "I'm so exited, I just can't hide it" as he parades in his Bionic Shaft costume.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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