Daddy Long Stroke Strikes Again!!!!!!!!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 55381 Shares
The notorious dick slinger "Daddy Long Stroke" struck again last night in the Forest Glen neighborhood in Greenville North Carolina. Authorities say they've never seen nothing like it. When local police spoke with neighbors, one was quoted saying "it makes no sense the way he been fucking that poor girl like that". Another neighbor said "I know her insides all messed up but she swear she in love (rolls eyes)". In a phone interview with "Charm" and our producers we asked how she dealt with being the last and sole victim of the infamous "Daddy Long Stroke" she responded "Love makes you do crazy things, I never knew I could take dick of the magnitude but that Nigga literally touches my soul! (Faints)" Chief of police issued the following statement "At this time there's nothing we can do about "Daddy Long Stroke" anymore its an isolated incident at this moment and it looks pretty withstanding. So as long as he not slinging that dick coast to coast like before we are content, the victim seem happy despite swollen guts so we're OK with that. We will no longer respond to emergency dick slinger calls because we know he lays pipe and a consistent basis to Ms. Charm, we suggest you take your voucher elsewhere. Thank you" we will be sure to update you if more develops on this story.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.