Swords Man gets jail.
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Swords Garda arrived to an incident on the Rathbeale Road after numerous calls from the public that a crime was in process outside Jcs. On arrival the Garda witnessed a Mr Derek Byrne of Abbeylea ave, Swords,bench pressing a 95 year old woman at the bus stop. When approached by the Garda they asked him what he was doing and he replied "she wanted to know if I lift" on this response he was promptly arrested for scaring be bejesus out of the old woman.
Mr. Byrne is well know in Swords by Gardaí for being a full time mad bastard and is no stranger to the courts with a string of offences ranging from being a beast at the gym, indecent exposure where he was found in the women's changing room in Dunnes stores flexing his muscles in the mirror and convicted of being a general bad ass.
He also narrowly avoided prison earlier in the year when he appeared in front of the courts for allegedly committing murder on the dance floor in the Cafe Bar on the main street. The key eyewitness who had reported to the garda on the night that he was like "a maniac a maniac on the dance floor" failed to appear as she forgot to sign on and had to make a mad dash into town or her scratch wouldn't be cut off hence the case being stuck out.
Mr Byrne was escorted into the court room Tuesday morning by the arresting officers sporting a top knot and wearing a tank top and shorts. When asked by the judge if he thought he was dressed appropriately Mr Byrne replied "Your Ma" sending Judge Dempsey off his rocker and sentencing to 30 days for contempt of court. Judge Dempsey will hear the case again in 30 days and warned Mr. Byrne to curb his sudden Beast mode urges or he could find himself in more bother. The case continues.....
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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