University Students Die of ATAS
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Stanford University officials report that five students have died of ATAS (acute test anxiety syndrome) today due to excessive stress from studying for an European history test. Eye witnesses testify that the students had anxiety attacks and started quoting the list of absolute rulers of the 17-18th centuries then suffered immediate death. Forensics experts, Catherine Romanov and Frederick William Hohenzollern, stated that the cause of death appears to be due to extreme cortisol levels that could only be due to College level European history overload. Their instructor, Louis Bourbon, when questioned about his extreme testing practices claims he based his curriculum on that of an unidentified high school Mobile Alabama AP European history teacher. Eye witnesses testified that they could actually see the students cortisol levels rising to lethal concentrations just before the loss of consciousness. The university has issued a moratorium on all European history testing to decrease the mortality rates of students effective immediately. President Obama has signed an executive order to halt all AP European history examinations until further notification. Teachers in noncompliance with this action will suffer immediate grave consequences like those suffered by Pugachev after his peasant rebellion against Catherine the great of Russia during the 18th century.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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