Local Redneck Diagnosed With PTSD at 15
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Jimmy Adams, son of Confederate Leader, Adams Prime, has been diagnosed with PTSD at the whopping age of 15. For someone that does nothing except play Wii Sports Bowling and Fifa 15, this comes as a surprise. According to Jimmy, he says it could either from when his father strapped him down to the kitchen table and had peanut butter spread across his light pink nipples, which was viciously licked off by his cats, BB and Que. Or, it could have come from a horrific dream he experienced over the summer. Jimmy said the dream went like this: "I was just casually sleeping dreaming then I just see this creepy ass face then I hear piercing ear wrenching noises and this when on forever before I tried to get out that shit then I start feeling like there is cling film over my mouth and can't catch my breath I try moving my arms and I swear my arms were prob flailing in real lyfe this is still while the noise is going on then I try to open my mouth and it wouldn't then I tried again and my eyes just shot open now I'm scared shitless and idk what to be scared." Jimmy is currently im critical condition and spent the rest of that night in the hospital. He starts rehab this upcoming Sunday.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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