Electronic Polling Machines Hack Attempted

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In a shocking turn of events late last night, DC police were called to a warehouse on the banks of Goose Island by a security officer of Gensec Security Company, after receiving five distresssing pager calls. "I'd started to suspect something strange was happening after the fourth one." Gensec Communications Manager Barney Stenson explained. "The guys were unusually talkative last night, and seemed plenty jumpy."
Police Arrived on the scene to find several armed, masked individuals tresspassing the premesis, and opened fire. The ensuing gunfight lasted over 15 minutes and claimed the lives of many police officers and several FBI and SWAT officers who were later called for backup. A total body count is not available at this time.

"It was absolutely insane!" Medical officer Samuel Williams, still shooken up by the incident. "These guys were picking us off one by one, and were shrugging off lead like bee stings. I'm pretty sure i saw one of them nearly get blown up buy a grenade and get up afterward."
The gunfight ended when the trespasser's calmly walked from the warehouse to a van parked across the street, previously unnoticed by law enforcement, and drove it off.
During the following investigation several of the polling machines being held by the warehouse were revealed to be recently hacked.
The bodies of 5 Gensec employees were found mutilated and stashed in dumpsters around the Detectives on the scene were first alerted by several loose screws around the containers, found after removing some of the bodies. Upon a quick tech investigation by the IT department of DC police revealed that upon any interaction with the machines, a vote for Liberal presidential candidate Gary Johnson.
Investigators believe Johnson was merely a fallback candidate to pin the hacking job on after detection. Investigators also believe that all hacking was completed before police intervention and the trespassers were simply trying to evacuate the large quantity of money, also being held at the warehouse.
Gensec Survielance officer Brian Green reported "I kept hearing a broad Russian voice scream 'Do it for the money!'"
The offending gang is suspected to be connected to the series of suspicious clown sightings, as their masks tended to resemble that of the performers makeup.

The warehouse, owned by Avalon shipping company, had been contracted to store and deliver the machines safely. Avalon have refused to comment on the situation.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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