Area Man Claims That His "Dick Hurts"
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ST. LOUIS, MO—Upon discovering a new passion for cooking, current student at Washington University Cameron Lydon reportedly stated that his dick hurts. Cameron, who spoke with us earlier this week, claims that he is "only doing it for the slunk" and that his "dick actually hurts."
"I'd really like to stop making this a big issue. I mean, after a night of drinks what can you do?" Cameron told us. "I think the best thing we all can do right now is to just wait and see what happens."
Witnesses tell us that Lydon was reportedly yelling and harassing several female students after the night of the incident, while also yelling profanities such as "F$ you Halsey Looking Bitches! I hope you die! I HATE HALSEY."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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