Dog & Lizard... Dynamic Duo?
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A local puppy, if you will, named Jared (Lab/Shepherd Mix) has discovered a new - possibly long lost - friend.
The pup, Jared (age 2) was found and noted to have befriended a small reptilian-like creature earlier this week. This after nearly 2 years of heart wrenching treachery for the young couple (whose names have been omitted to preserve their legacy) who initially owned and cared for the dog, until of course, Jared tragically ran away when he was just 23 hours old.
The dog and reptilian creature seemed to be a match made in heaven, as the latter creature was found to have been keeping little Jared warm, said the police officer by whom the event - in its entirety - was indeed witnessed.
Local authorities stumbled upon the unsuspecting couple early morning Tuesday, 11/08/2016, just as polling was set to have begun.
Soon thereafter, however, the lizard-dog duo disappeared from view, and as Sgt. Jakob Fezeka puts it "... one minute they were cuddling there, all, you know, like cute and cuddly, but then, you know, like the next [minute], they were gone. It was like magical to me though. I can't believe that I am really on the news, this is so nice for my day to have begun this way hahahahaha thanks y'all...". Detective Sgt. Fakeza later added that although he was initially "... well, startled!", by the sheer implications of this event, he concluded that he was "happy to have witnessed such a dynamic friendship", prior to his morning coffee.
When further inquired in this regard, local Detroit Police personnel reported they have not pursued this case any further. When asked what their reasoning had been behind their ostensible cover up and, at minimum, premature termination of this investigation, DPD Senior Chief of Staff and Special Ops Unit Coordinator (with 87 badges earned on his jacket), Ryan Miller, stated "the officer who witnessed the case at hand was in fact high on LSD and also had taken magic mushrooms, thereby making any and all of the aforementioned statements invalid and entirely refutable...".
Unfortunately, while reluctant to answer our questions and only responding to the first inquiry (above), Officer Miller proceeded to abruptly run away from our interview, crying hysterically, or "balling" if you will.
Upon examining the situation closer, it was later discovered that this was not Sgt. Jakob Fakeza's first erroneous sighting of 'unusual activity', for lack of a better term, as Fakeza was reported to have taken hallucinogens prior to the infamous sighting of an amphibious creature performing fallatio on an unsuspecting baby kitten at a 711 gas station on Hoover Rd / 13 mile in Warren, Mich.
Further inquiries, comments, spelling errors/typos at:
[email protected]
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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