Kid caught stealing cucumbers and socks from Walmart
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A local homosexual was arrested by the Delaware Police Department for stealing cucumbers and socks from Walmart off of 23 North. When we asked the man, from outside the police car, why he decided to steal these particular items he responded very quickly and loudly with "I want the cucumber up my ass NOW!" our news reporters were still confused about the socks. They started thinking maybe they were condoms for the cucumbers? One reporter decided to ask Mr. Bailey Jr. and his response was that he's trying to get rid of all socks completely, he says that they ruin his foot fetish. He then asked the reporter if he knew what it was like to have a foot job and said it's like heroin, the first time you do it your hooked. Then he asked the reporter for a foot job. Mr. Bailey was put in a holding cell because he was high on molly and was trying to have sexual encounters with a mannequin's foot. He is now being seen by a doctor to get the jammed cucumber out of his buttocks then scraping the foot fungus off of his testicals then going to another kind of doctor to see if a psych ward is the place for him.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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