Nicole is officially old and bananas aren't phones
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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Today is Nicoles birthday and the discounts are screaming her name. Throughout all the excitement and joy, one devastating truth remains the same, this hag is old! She's so old her candles have been limited to one since 9 lives are only true for cats. They say you shrink with age and now that she can hardly reach to flip a light switch. A "clapper" will installed throughout her home. That's not all folks, the gifts will be pouring in. From our friends at " higher sole" and "depends" extra tall soles along with a lifetime supply of ass blankets are on their way! I don't think this day could possibly get better for Nicole. Wait there's more, Chuck called in and said "he loves you and misses those tapes you would record and sing for him when you were little." Now, if that's just not a tear jerker you have no feelings! Before Nicole goes senile we better put an end to this dedicated article. Have a wonderful birthday Nicole your family loves you!
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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