Middle Paxton Township Youth Being Watched by Fish & Game
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Since the spring of 2016, social media has been littered with photos of a Middle Paxton youth holding smallmouth bass. The youth always seems to hide his face behind the fish to conceal his identity. Local anglers are familiar with the skinny kid that catches all the fish". PFBC officials are keeping an eye out for this legendary angler. "It's gotten so bad that we've received constant complaints at our headquarters" says PFBC spokesman Harry Balls. It appears that this young man is making so many fish "hook sore" that it's reducing the catch rate for other anglers.
In an interview with a local boat ramp / meth lab owner Dick Smoker, we uncovered some eye opening information. It appears that the young man filling social media with these pointless photos has been averaging over 75 fish per day. This results in lower catches for other anglers using the river. The local police department is also looking into allegations that the youth is "hustling anglers" for money to help support his sneaker addiction.
We found a disgruntled angler (Stan Shop) coming off the river and he told us what had happened. "We was coming down the river and got behind this white boat. I think they was being guided. Looked like some grandfather in the front and a kid in the back. That kid caught fish after fish after fish. We had to get out from behind their boat because they caught every fish they came across.". Stories like this have the Fish and Game Department worried that angler use of the river will decline dramatically / result in fewer licenses purchased by anglers in the future.
If you see this angler on the water, please call PFBC hotline and ask for Wilma Fingerdoo.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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