Hamburg Mom Behind Canadian Maple Crisis
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Canadian authorities have reported a massive breach in national security. A staggering 26000 metric tons (roughly 60 million pounds) of maple syrup are missing from the national syrup reserve, leaving the country bankrupt of its most precious substance. A clandestine pipeline was later found under the Canadian Ministry of Maple Syrup where the reserve is stored. All evidence suggest that the pipeline ends in Hamburg New York at the home of Mary D'innocenzo. She is also responsible for numerous heists in the Western New York area, mainly for large quantities of lemons and cayenne pepper. she is believed to be accompanied by her delinquent son. The investigation has yet to provide information about the motive of her crimes. D'innocenzo and her effeminate son are armed and highly dangerous.
The international manhunt is ongoing as Canada's economy inevitably plummets. If you or anyone you know, have any information on her whereabouts we urge you to contact local authorities.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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