Parker to possibly miss game against division rivals
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Jeremy "JP" Parker may or may not be playing his first game of the new year tonight against The Pas Huskies. Parker will hopefully suit up tonight in his second game of the season on the fourth line. "I feel I'm the third best player on the fourth line and hope to be productive." Parker played 6 minutes and 20 seconds in his debut with the team in the 8-2 victory over Cross Lake 1. Parker finished -2 with 0 pim,shots,goals,assists, and hits. He did manage to set a league record for being hit the most in open ice. In his 6 minutes and 20 seconds of playing time he was caught with his head down 59 times and paid the price. He stated "Usually I just toedrag everyone and don't get hit, that game was different I guess." He hopes to trade his Wal-Mart shift so he is able to play.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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