US Soldier Arrested For Stealing Liquor From The Shopette
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Saturday evening, a soldier by the name of Steven Lane was arrested by local MPs for stealing a bottle of Goose and a bottle of Ciroc from the 24 hour shopette on Fort Riley.
MPs were hot on Lane's trail after a call was made from an annoymous person stating that Lane uploaded a photo on Facebook of him posing with the stolen liquor in front of a vehicle that's also believed to be stolen. News reporters interviewed Debra Jenkins who's one of the cashiers at the shopette. She said she spotted Lane stuffing the two bottles in his boot cut saggy jeans and walking out of the store. "All I saw was a bean headed boy with a big bottom lip pacing back and forth in the alcohol section. He passed a woman holding her infant, it looked at him and began to cry" said Debra. "He spoke to me in gibberish as he walked out. I couldn't understand a word the boy was saying, sounded country as hell like he from the backwoods" Debra continued.
Lane, Steven is being charged with indecent exposure for wearing those ugly ass boot cut jeans, harassment for making kids cry with his bottom lip, and theft for stealing liquor. His bail is set at $15,000.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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