Your candidate working with foreign aliens
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While it may sound like a script from an Austin powers movie portraying a cunning and awkwardly charismatic Dr. Evil hatching brilliantly perverted plans for taking over the world, recent investigations may have uncovered something far more sinister. Our reporting analyst Mit Gnuoy, Has confirmed a report originating from a self described operative who only wished to be identified as "Mr. McPaul'R", which reportedly contains overwhelming evidence of your favorite political candidate engaged in unprecedented acts of treason by virtue of a top secret partnership with a species of galactic aliens intent on destroying America. In an interview, testimony from Mr. McPaul'R became muddled and at times seamed illogical. Mr. Mcpaul'R had difficulty trying to describe his findings and showed a tendency to hyper focus in small areas. Despite the fact the Mr. McPaul'R may never be a good speaker, he did offer some fascinating insights as to the culture of this alien species. "well they're gay in sexual preference, they have somewhat darker skin, they really seem to be in cahoots with those of the Jewish faith, although I'm certain they don't believe in God, and they are all of the female sex." said Mr. McPaul'R.
When asked about specifics as to the alien plot Mr. Mcryan'R had this to say. "Well for one they are going to be raping our women and children, inciting violence, eliminating money, they'll be stuffing some foreign type religion down our throats, and they'll be taking away all of our constitutional rights". "And the worst part is; they wont be paying taxes". When asked why he felt the alien refusal to pay taxes was the worst part, Mr. Mcpaul'R had this to say "I don't go to work all day just so some illegal alien can come to my country and take advantage of the welfare system, watching big screen TV's paid for by the government. I work for a living and they should to". "they got really big ones that much is for certain". Mr. McPaul'R; when queried, given the alien disdain for freedom, what is the likelihood of an alien refusal to recognize the 2nd galactic amendment granting aliens the right to bear phasers? "probably they don't". "They don't believe in no rights, woman's rights or gay rights either." "cant even drink beer and watch TV" and the other political side is working with them so they can do just that; take all your constitutional rights".
The claims of Mr Mcpaul'R, if correct would likely result in a drastic change for citizens of the US. Furthermore it represents an unprecedented and unique threat to freedom.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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