Donald Trump's Hands Proven To Be Smallest of Any U.S. President

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After exhaustive research by the Society for Human and Urban Statistics for Homes, it has been determined that Donald Trump does, in fact, have the smallest hands of any U.S. President.

Over 45,000 pictures of various U.S. Presidents were compared and measured using a complex algorithm, taking into account film stock, distance from the picture source, relative comparison to everyday objects in the picture, and medical reports to determine the actual size of every U.S. President's hands. Length, width, thickness, and thumb size were all measured. Donald Trump ranked last in all categories except thickness (Trump was next to smallest, behind only James K. Polk) and thumb size, where oddly he ranks first among previous Presidents. Each category was given a weighted size factor, and the overall score results in the size ranking for each President's hands. Trump scored a 14 on a 100 point scale, a full 13 points behind the President with the next smallest hands, Martin Van Buren.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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