Secret Service Leaks Scary Trump Plan
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
2059 95161 Shares
In a leak that could be something movies are made of, a secret service member has leaked what could be President Trump's worst plan EVER. The report is that sometime in mid-March, an executive order will be signed that will effectively dictate a national religion, under the guise of patriotism. The wording also includes a mandatory $1000 fine and 90 days jail time for anyone violating, hanging upside down or burning the American flag. Inner cities and "sanctuary cities" will be blockaded by the National Guard to, as Trump has been heard to say "Lock in the riff raff. If they want them, they can have them and those places will not be part of our country." In addition, either included in the same executive order or possibly several signed in a few days, Trump is also reported to want to temporarily ban all trade with other countries as his administration works out new deals and trade agreements. Finally, an executive order, possibly coming as soon as by the end of February, that will impose immediate and retroactive term-limits on congress. The idea is to "get rid of old bats like Pelosi, Warren and Reid and put in competent, less obstructive people into these positions - even if it means we need to have state elections this year."
House and senate democrats vow to continue their promise of blocking, promoting public outcry and practicing hypocrisy at all levels until - as senate minority leader, Pelosi, has been heard stating walking to her office, "This man, Trump, is either impeached, found guilty of some horrendous crime or we just simply lock him out of the White House and we will take over, which is what I'd actually prefer to do."
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
Most Popular
-
1
bigfoot sighting at jackson lake campground near oak hill ohio Several eye witness reported seeing a large hairy animal of some kind near the Jackson lake campground. Local authorities are asking people to be cautious if you are planning on fishing near this area. One of the witnesses where able to snap a picture with their cell phone before the creature ran away near the Tommy Been rd area.
-
2
new york city woman loses her temper, causes black hole to swallow her entire town Anna, 26, of New York City, DC was in the middle of an argument with a colleague when her temper got so out of control, it formed a small black hole, which demolished the vast majority of her neighborhood. "I just couldn't take it anymore, and unleashed my forces at the person who was irritating me. I had no idea the energy of my rage could cause such destruction," says Anna. Despite the ruination her anger has caused, Anna says she has no regrets. "I actually wish I knew I had this ability sooner!" Anna laughs. "There are a lot of people and things I could have eradicated from my life in this way."
-
3
whale spotted in illinois river A humpback whale was spotted near Morris IL in the Illinois River today. The sighting comes just days after 2 Great White Sharks were seen frolicking in the same area. While not impossible, it does seem unlikely. It is thought that the whale may have followed the sharks as they sometimes do in the wild. The whale would of had to travel over 1250 miles to get to this location. The Marine Biologist Association will be in town for a full investigation. Until we have answers, we are asking folks to keep their pontoons and fishing boats docked.
-
4
two great white sharks found swimming in mississippi river near saint louis, missouri. While it is not entirely impossible, it is incredibly uncommon for salt water dwelling creatures to stay for lengthy periods of time in fresh water. However, two Great White Sharks have managed to survive the trip and make their way up the Mississippi River somehow. Believed to have started as a mating couple, the two are assumed to have swam the 920 mile journey from the mouth of the Mississippi River that is connected to the Gulf Of Mexico. Officials in Saint Louis have contacted the Missouri Conservation Department and will likely have a team in the river soon to capture the two lost sharks.