President Trump Creates New Cabinet-Level Position
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Today, President Trump created a new cabinet-level position via executive order. "I am please to announce that Stephen Messer, co-founder of collective[i], will serve as the nation's first Secretary of Arrogance," the commander-in-chief tweeted at 3:42am ET Saturday. According to recently apologetic senior advisor Kellyanne Conway, "This role is long overdue for a country of our stature, and it represents a vital component of our mission to make America great again. Who better than our 45th president to highlight the value of arrogance than President Trump?"
Messer, 45, has a long history of arrogance that has been on full display through a series of start-up companies in the tech space. According to Conway, his most recent company, collective[i], was "so arrogant that its very name could flaunt conventional rules of punctuation, and still succeed in developing highly entertaining PowerPoints for analyst firm briefings."
Messer was not available for comment, but cabinet-watchers note that his Columbia Business School dissertation was titled, "Why I Will Always Know More Than You." Details are still pending on exactly what his duties will be, as well as how the Department of Arrogance will be structured.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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