Trump Angers Galactic Federation -- Humanity Doomed
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White House sources have revealed an alarming security briefing where newly elected President Donald Trump was made aware of Area 51, Project Majestic, and the existence of an interstellar government known as the Galactic Federation. President Trump treated the extraterrestrial ambassadors rudely, even suggesting that they lack souls do to not being defendants of Adam and Eve. Security officials appeared to go into panic mode when the lead ambassador bellowed something about proceeding to Phase Three, and promptly teleported her entire deligation back to the mother ship. No details about what Phase Three will entail have been released yet, but sources say one key feature involves the extermination of all homo sapiens, as well as the genetic modification of dolphins to allow them to walk on land and manipulate objects with opposable thumbs. NASA scientists are working fervently with the National Oceanic Administration to convince the dolphins to advocate on humanity's behalf, but so far they've been unable to develop a proper translator for the chirps and whistles of dolphin speech.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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