Trump signs Executive Order abolishing the Democratic Party.
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With one swift stroke of the pen, President Trump signed an Executive Order that makes it illegal to be a Democrat, effectively abolishing the Democratic Party and restoring sanity to the nation.
The order became effective at midnight eastern time, surprising liberals who were quickly rounded up at hundreds of "safe spaces" around the country. Several liberals, clutching applications for employment as organized protestors, were seen trying to escape the roundups, but were quickly identified by their "man-buns" and the telltale awkward gait that results from wearing skinny jeans.
One hysterical liberal, who gave his name as "Roberta", was quoted as saying "This isn't, like, fair and stuff, like, because of Bush, and stuff!" His parents were spotted nearby, clearly overjoyed that their son's incarceration will allow them to use their basement again.
It wasn't immediately clear what would be done with the liberals, but sources familiar with the matter have suggested that they may be used as speed bumps, or perhaps retasked as flotsam or perhaps jetsam. Those who do not meet the standards for those positions would be fed to Rosie O'Donnell, currently incarcerated at an undisclosed location to protect the public from the unspeakable horror of having to view her grotesque form.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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