Plainfield Illinois is rich in resources.

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After years of unadulterated dumping of toxic garbage at many locations within the village, the village may be getting a return on that investment.

New deposits of Cadmium, Chromium and Lead are being found to be oozing up through the ground. While these deposits are the most frequent, there are also areas of road tar seeping up through the ground to be found in other less sporadic locations.

What the village is really hoping for though, is for some of these deposits to show up in the water table. Once that happens, the deposits will become easier to extract, as all the water can just be pumped out of the ground at any location instead of looking for deposits in individual areas. While only a fraction of these resources can ever be removed from water, the scale is just so large in pumping out all the water that it makes it worth the investment. The water can then be dumped into the river at the newly created riverfront property near downtown, safely making all the concerns vanish into the river. This location also has the benefit of being the site of some of the most concentrated deposits.

While this new-found industry is still in its infancy, the village is hoping that within the next 5 years it will return as much as $0.17c to the annual budget, while only costing $740,000. Trustee Bill Lamb has said it is important to run the village like a business, and this will let the village have even more expenses just like a real business. "Without this addition of a new revenue stream, we would lose that 17 cents forever".

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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