Local Lackawanna Woman Has Trouble Getting Rid Of Her Pepsi Addiction Which Makes Her Have A Constant Pep In Her Step

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In her mid 20's, Mary Venable aka Boney Braxton, Bone Rivers, or BrAkon, was seen around the small city of Lackawanna seemingly looking energized. Many around noticed that this young woman loved visiting the neighborhood convenient store named "Speedy's". Kids around the neighborhood used to think she was Speedy herself, or "Speedy's helper". Only because she would speed walk atleast 12 miles per hour back and forth to the store. Perhaps for what? No one could ever put their finger on it, to what and why she took trips to the store every 15 minutes. She would always put an object into her purse, under her arm, or in a paper bag. Neighbors suspected it to be a liquor beverage. But that couldn't of been the case, cause of course, she would've been at least buzzed or tipsy from downing the beverage every 15 minutes then back to the store. It went as far as coming together as a community, to launch a community watch program called "Projects Bustas". Everyday, hour, minute, and second there were eyes all on her to trying to find out this "object" she kept going to get, and consuming. Watching her like hungry hogs, the "Project Bustas" would notice her as she walked with a "PIHS" (PepInHerStep). In other words, she was kind of hunched over, as if she was a bridge and letting a load of cars cross her. She couldn't of been mean, because when you pass her, and say hello, she'll make that face majority of white people make when they come across an African American. NoRacism. We decided to catch up with one of the neighborhood watch members, named Vanita Reese. "I don't know what the f**k that girl carrying, but you know something gotta give. This is the hood. You take that up over the bridge, or in South Buffalo where you belong. She might be the feds. She better not come around here!" Said Vanita Reese. As we, HoodStoryCronicals were interviewing Mrs. Reese, Lackawanna police arrived. We learned that there was a search warrant for Mary. Lackawanna Police proceeded to search the home of Mary Venable's. The LAPD found nothing but Pepsi bottles. From cans, to plastic, to glass. Mainly long necks and 2 liters. The premises was labeled as a hazard. And from there Boney Braxton was arrested. She was almost immediately placed into custody period while placing her hands behind her back to get into the car, nosy neighbors witnessed the sound of bones snapping. Hunchy Lou was taken to police station for questions. There were speculation that she was involved in the Lackawanna 6, plus her, changed the group to 7. Talk of the town, and word on the streets, is that she was supposed to collect them pepsi bottles, to be initiated into the group. But neighs suspected more. "No you know what... She...she...Could be...be targeted for drinking them pepsis, knowing she was supposed to use them for the terror attack." Said Lackawanna resident Eddie D, as he was trying sell us his new bootleg movies, and old church clothes from 1989 out the back of his 1997 blue minivan. (We declined numerous times) Boney Blue has been taken to The Erie County Holding Center. For more information about this story, please visit www.716news.com

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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