Local community college opens full bar in cafeteria, students grades increase dramatically
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A community college in Colorado Springs recently voted on whether or not to build and open a fully loaded alcohol bar in the commons area and the students said yes! Relying on mainly volunteer work from students, the bar was built and up and operating within three weeks of the vote being passed. Since the bar's opening, the president of the school has reported a "dramatic increase in student timeliness, attendance, and an overall jump in grade point averages of roughly 0.45 across all programs. The success has been so well taken by students and faculty that the hours of operation have been moved to opening at 8 in the morning and closing at 2 am at night. Aside from academic success, the bar has also opened up dozens of jobs for students from tending the bar, to mopping up vomit, to a rise in uber drivers to get drunken patrons home at all times of the day. Moving forward, the organization is making arrangements to offer a full bartending program available to all students over the age of 21 that can even be covered by financial aid and certain scholarships funded by Jim Beam, Tito's Vodka, Bud Light, and many more each day. Needless to say affects of alcohol on college students can be seen as very successful.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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