Momence District Student Under Investigation For Possible Felony

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Momence, IL - MHS student Eugene Saroka, 18, is currently under investigation for ties to a "possible [previously] ...indicted" suspect in Kankakee County jurisdiction. Momence High School D.S. have previously undergone investigations behind closed doors for at least six other students, many of whom's names are being withheld.

Authorities and school officials have yet to make contact with Saroka or any next of kin - though the evidence has become overwhelming due to a newly refurbished school security [camera] system. Though it is unclear at the moment as to who exactly he has reportedly made contact with and why; the suspect sheet goes as follows: Gordon Balsano, 19; Mitchell Brown, 20; Steven Greenberg, 20; Thaddeus Cantrell, 19; Harmony Welles, 18; and Jamar Burton, 19. One or more of the following have ostensibly made some form of contact with Saroka through the High School, 3 of whom having graduated from said school. The reason for the exchange is still unknown; but a tip from local law enforcement proves reason to believe [given the suspects' prior history] there are possible felonies in the making (i.e. vandalism, possible theft, disturbance of peace, etc.).

If you have any information regarding the current suspect, please contact city officials at (708)-388-4825 or Fax (R.e.) at +44-679-5920062 between the office hours of 8:00 - 4:30. Any information could be crucial - and while any local law enforcement is not seeking to arrest Saroka it is has still become overwhelmingly clear that an exchange of information has been committed.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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