Have You Seen This Man?

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County Sheriff's Department Desperately Searching For This Suspect.

On Thursday, March 23rd at approximately 8:40 p.m. this man is said to have been seen in the Lawrenceburg Taco Bell. Witnesses say they watched as the suspect stuffed a large, brown paper take home bag, with numerous items from the menu, including a (T.D.C.W.) Triple Double Crunch Wrap. The T.D.C.W. in question had been made for a customer but had been sent back due to it being the beef variety but the customer had ordered the spicy chicken.

Authorities say that the value of the T.D.C.W. is estimated to be approximately $3.49 and that in itself is not the reason this young perpetrator is so desperately sought by the police. It was the flagrant and cavalier attitude that the perpetrator displayed upon running out the door with his ill-gotten goods. He is said to have been swaggering out the door as he left, let loose with a tremendous round of flatulence inside the entry chamber, and screamed "It's Mine, It's All Mine" as he ran across the parking lot and left with an unknown driver who proceeded to travel South on U.S. 127.

The Manager of the Taco Bell said that the loss of the food items was not financially excessive and would not have a major impact on the stores financial reports, but the smell in the entry chamber was quite atrocious and required a few kitchen matches and an aerosol can of Lysol to finally rid the store of the smell.

If you encounter this suspect, do not try to apprehend him, he is armed with a buttload of poisonous gas and has been known to fire on unsuspecting victims without warning or provocation. Please contact the County Sheriff's Department at xxx-xxx-xxxx

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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