SYRIA UPDATE: Trump to send 30 tons of Pepsi to Syrians to ease tensions with Russia and Assad

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In the early hours of the morning of Friday, April 7th 2017, the day that Kendrick Lamar lied to us about getting an album and putting the industry on an "Ice Pack", President Trump and his national security team secured a 3 way video session on Google Hangouts to discuss the military actions taken by the U.S. military in response to the gas attack against the Syrian citizens, which is alleged to be perpetrated by their own Government.

Al Assad and Vladimir Putin criticized Trump for trying to protect the very people he claimed to be low key terrorist who's sole mission is to do some shady shit to Americans when we aren't watching. Trump, realizing how this is kinda dumb, agreed to get Kendall Jenner to take a 24 hour pilot course and fly 30 tons of Pepsi soda to the Syrian military and its Citizens as a repayment for the minimal damage done with the airstrikes. The drop off is said to happen on monday. Al Assad and Putin were very satisfied with this proposal and all is now well in the middle east. ISIS has said in a recent interview on the Breakfast Club with Charlemagne that they would be taking a vacation to rethink their message. The refreshing taste of Pepsi has given them a new perspective on life.


-Ian Bruce, Editor and Chief at LocalDopeTV

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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Apr 2017