California Woman finds Lost Book of the Bible in Cereal Cabinet
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A team of archaeologists were called in to Susan B. Garcia's home early yesterday morning at 6:30am Pacific Standard Time. Garcia, when looking through her cereal cabinet for some Frosted Flakes, found an extremely old dust ridden book wrapped in what looked like papyrus.
"I was, like, so excited when I saw it. I did not want to even touch it. I thought to myself, like, maybe like, I can get some money and sign my kids up for the Harvest Christian Academy. So I called Claremont College," Garcia stated and clapped the whole time she was speaking.
The archaeologists from Claremont University were there within the hour. There were, however, a few glaring problems with this possible relic.
"We noticed some faded words on the front which appeared to read 'NIV Study Bible,' but we were still willing to purchase the cereal cabinet and all the food found within and go public. It is Easter time and so we at Claremont are always looking to publish and state some outlandish things in the name of Christianity." Dr. Philip T. Crossan declared so boldly.
Then, while being interviewed, Garcia's 13 year old daughter stormed out of the bathroom, laughing, and scoffed at them telling them that it was her moms old Bible with a rotten banana peal on top of it. "She totally lost it a few years ago after a crusade. Wow, Mom! You don't even read your Bible?!" the girl said with a valley girl accent.
"Like, it turns out the book was my lost Bible," giggled Garcia.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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