Suspects arrested for theft, poor taste
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Local officials report that 2 suspects were spotted a local Walmart in Austin, Texas, attempting to shoplift. The suspects, identified as Ghana Rhea and Tippi St. Clair, were spotted on CCTV by store detective Phil McCreckin.
"I wasn't giving it much thought until I noticed they were looking at the camera and blowing Kisses. After a few minuets, they had managed to lift at least $800 in merchandise. Officer Kisses managed to stop them as they were leaving"
After a thorough search, items found on the suspects included pregnancy tests, lipstick, blue eye shadow, 2 pairs of red sequined chanclas, an array of clothing and jewelry, and a can of pineapple juice.
"It was the can of pineapple juice that proved to be difficult to conceal. We managed to finally retrieve it later in the day with a suction cup and a bottle of personal lubricant." said Officer Kisses.
No word on what charges will be filed at this time.
"Walmart has a strict policy regarding shoplifting, although in this case we found it a little tragic. Who steals dollar lipstick? And the foundation and concealer was nowhere near their complexion." said manager Brock Asbitch.
Meanwhile, the suspects have been moved from the general population for trading favors for cigarettes and dinner rolls.
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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