Sunday Storm Brings Benefits

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In reaction to residents call for help FEMA, The American Red Cross, and Small Business Administration have announced this morning that they are ready to begin processing disaster relief benefit claims for the unnamed hurricane that made landfall this morning in southern Terrebonne Parish.

Beginning at 1:30 p.m CST at the Ward 7 center in Chauvin, the American Red Cross will begin handing out ice, MRE's, (meals ready to eat) diapers, and bottle water to those affected. Maybe some baby wipes too. Also, emergency food stamps will be available to anyone living south of Duplantis Bridge.

FEMA is currently setting up a field office at The American Legion Memorial in Chauvin as well, with $2000.00 EBT cards on hand for anyone that had a temporary loss of Directv service as a result of the heavy rain and gale force winds. Also, vouchers will be available for those needing generators or chainsaws, and can be cashed in at Chauvin Bros. as soon as they get it pumped out again.

In the meantime, Parish President Gordy Dove asks that everyone remain indoors and off the roads unless in an extreme emergency such as checking the tide direction at Boudreaux Canal or making a beer run.

"We have our beer coolers stocked full to the top" said Liz from Marty J's. "We even changed the grease in our deep fryer. We're prepared!" she continued.

Nathan Farkas
Staff Writer

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.

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